Not Again
by Saran VD
Summary: RENT and WICKED and a little bit of AIDA characters randomly complain about fanfics as one author attempts to write one and another one writes the attempt as a fanfic. RANDOM FLUFF. threeshot if thats a word... Rated for language.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I was bored and decided to write a random fanfic. Is it random enough?**

Not Again…

"Hey, Galinda!" Elphaba called to her friend, waving.

"It's _Glinda_ in this fic. No GA!" Glinda (without a GA) yelled back.

"CUT!" said the fanfic author. "Take 5…"

"Only five?" groaned Glinda.

"… Hours," the author finished. "I have to work on my RENT fic."

Somewhere in the world that the characters live in, there were groans.

Elphaba, Glinda, Boq, Nessa (who could mysteriously walk before the Wicked Witch of the East scene), and Fiyero, however, were jumping for joy.

They headed into the happy place where fanfic characters live in peace until authors needed them again.

"Man, tiring fic today, huh?" said Glinda to her friend.

"Of course it was! We were fucking each other the whole damn thing!" Elphaba growled.

"You two had it bad?" the guys argued. "_We_ both got our hearts broken!"

"And _I_ cheated on both of them with my sister's son, who miraculously is in a fic while we're at Shiz!" Nessa complained.

"Ooo, you hooked up with Liir?" asked Elphaba. "Why? He's fat and ugly."

"Yeah, wanna make something of it?"

"No, I'm good."

Randomly and for no reason at all, the WICKED characters were dragged into the fanfic author's RENT story.

"WOW! I HAVE A SECRET TWIN!" Maureen squealed, throwing her arms around Elphaba.

"Dying… dying…"

"Sorry. Can we cut? I'm sick of being all, OH MY GOD YOU LOOK LIKE ME, in these stories!"

"THANK YOU, MAUREEN!"

Meanwhile, Roger and Fiyero were fighting.

"I'm hotter!" Fiyero said.

"You're a scarecrow! I'm hotter!" Roger argued.

"MY ROGER!" said Mark, tackling Roger.

"NO!" screamed both Mimi and April (who was miraculously alive), pouncing on Roger.

"Am I a scarecrow in this fic?" Fiyero wondered.

"Am I dead?" wondered Nessa.

"Am I lesbian?" wondered Maureen.

"Am I alive?" said Liir. "Am I an idea?"

"Let's stop asking rhetorical questions and get on with the fic. Once and for all, Roger is with MIMI! Sorry, Mark, I still love you. You can have Glinda. How does that sound?" the fanfic author said.

Glinda giggled and waved at Mark.

Mark started making out with Glinda.

"Okay then…" said the author, who I am randomly naming Bob Jones (even though she's a girl). "Maureen, you and Joanne are still together. Nessa and April, both of you are dead. Sorry."

Nessa and April disappeared into the FanFic World.

"Liir, you are currently somewhere else screwing Candle and taking care of your green daughter named Elphaba."

"Why is Liir's daughter always named after me?" groaned Elphaba.

"And Fiyero, you are a scarecrow. I still think you're hot, though. But Roger's hotter," said Bob Jones.

Fiyero glared at Roger.

"Hey, people!" said a random original character. "BENNY YOU ARE ONE SEXY BEAST!" she yelled, and she ran off to screw Benny.

"Right," said Bob Jones. "I don't own anything!" She grabbed a megaphone. "ALRIGHT! CHAPTER ONE! LET'S GET GOING!"

No one moved.

"Fanfics suck. Let's go get drunk," said Collins, pulling out a bottle of vodka (or 10… or 20… thousand).

"YES!" shouted everyone.

So everyone ended up drunk and/or high off of Mimi's stash.

Boq looked around. "Why am I always single?"

Angel hiccupped and ran over. "I'll screw you…"

"NO! MY ANGEL! I DETEST PEOPLE HOOKING ANGEL UP WITH SOMEONE OTHER THAN ME!" said Collins, beating up Boq.

Ed Green from Law & Order randomly barged into the fanfic. "I'm looking for my identical twin…"

"Poor Collins," said Maureen and Elphaba in unison.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Collins. "NOT THE CREEPY LAW & ORDER GUY WHO LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE ME!"

"I'm also looking for my twin," said Lilly (from _The Devil Wears Prada_).

"NO!" yelled Joanne. "Not me, too!"

"Excuse me," said Tracie Thoms to Joanne and Lilly, "I am just the actress that plays both of you. That doesn't make you twins."

"Hey," said Jesse L. Martin to Collins and Ed, "that's just because I play both of you, ok?"

"The same goes for you two," said Idina Menzel to Maureen and Elphaba.

"NO!" yelled Saran VD. "MY COMPUTER DOES NOT RECOGNIZE IDINA'S NAME! THE HORRORS!"

Idina, Jesse, Collins, Joanne, Lilly, Tracie, Bob Jones, Benny, the random original character that was screwing Benny, Elphaba, Ed, Angel, Liir, Nessa, April (who were both randomly back watching the chaos), Maureen, Candle, Elphaba Jr., Roger, Mark, Boq, Fiyero, and Glinda all stared at Saran VD. "Who the hell are you?" they all asked in perfect unison.

"I'm a fanfic writer," she replied.

Everyone stared at her and ran away to FanFic World.

And so ends a story that wasn't really a story…


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I originally was not going to continue this, but since everyone loves it so much, I will!**

Not Again…

"Man," said Elphaba, chugging one of Collins' bottles of Stoli, "I never want to see Bob Jones or Saran VD or whoever ever again."

"Me neither," said Mark, wrapping his arm around Glinda.

"I'm starting to get sick of fanfics," said Lilly (who for some reason was still there).

"Uh, Lilly?" said Maureen. "Shouldn't you be in the _Devil Wears Prada_ section?"

"Oh yeah," said Lilly, and she left.

"I should go, too, then," said Ed, and he left.

"Well," said Elphaba drunkenly, "how is everyone?"

"Elphie, you are never allowed to drink again. Don't give her any alcohol, Tommy," Glinda said to Collins.

"Tommy?"

"YES!" squealed Glinda, who was also drunk. She started snogging Mark.

"Time for us to go to the M-rated section!" said Mark gleefully, dragging Glinda away.

"I thought we were rebelling against fanfics!" Roger yelled after him.

Mark was too busy snogging Glinda to notice or care.

"Well, as long as we _aren't_ rebelling against fanfics," said Elphaba, sidling up to Fiyero, "I'm in the mood for a good, M-rated Fiyeraba right about now…"

Fiyero raised an eyebrow suggestively, and they ran over to the M-rated section.

"Well," said Nessa, "since I seem to be the only _Wicked_ representative left…"

"NO!" yelled Boq angrily, "I'm here!"

"Me too!" added Madame Morrible and the Wizard, who both looked as if they had been in the M-rated section for the past hour.

"Oooh!" squealed Nessa. "Who got you two together?"

"Some person named Bob Jones," said Morrible, fixing her crazy hair.

Mimi and Maureen both fainted.

"You know her?" said the Wizard.

"Who, Bob Jones?" asked Nessa.

"No, not- wait, Bob Jones is a girl?"

Nessa, Boq, Roger, Collins, Joanne, Angel, and Morrible all nodded.

"Am I the only one who didn't know?"

Nessa, Boq, Roger, Collins, Joanne, Angel, and Morrible all nodded.

"Wow, I am such a loser."

Nessa, Boq, Roger, Collins, Joanne, Angel, and Morrible all nodded.

"You guys were _not_ supposed to nod there!"

Nessa, Boq, Roger, Collins, Joanne, Angel, and Morrible all nodded.

"Really, enough nodding!"

Everyone heard a giggle.

Nessa, Boq, Roger, Collins, Joanne, Angel, and Morrible all nodded.

"Alright," said the Wizard, who was officially pissed off, "who just giggled?"

Nessa, Boq, Roger, Collins, Joanne, Angel, and Morrible all nodded.

"STOP NODDING, DAMMIT!"

Nessa, Boq, Roger, Collins, Joanne, Angel, and Morrible all nodded.

"Ooops!" said a miscellaneous voice. "Sorry."

Nessa, Boq, Roger, Collins, Joanne, Angel, and Morrible all nodded.

The miscellaneous voice hit the backspace button on her computer and deleted all the nodding that follows.

"Oh, yay, we stopped nodding!" said Morrible, massaging her sore neck.

"Thank God!" said Roger.

Mark and Glinda came back from the M-rated section.

"That was fast," noted Nessarose.

"It feels good to screw a girl for a change," noted Mark. "I'm so used to being in fics where I'm screwing _you_." He pointed at Roger.

"Not my fault," Roger mumbled.

The miscellaneous voice laughed.

"Wait," said Mimi, who had just woken up, "Roger, you are cheating on me with Mark?"

"No!" said Roger.

"Yes," giggled the miscellaneous voice.

"WHO IS THAT VOICE!" raged Collins.

"Honey, be nice," said Angel, dragging Collins away.

"ROGER I KEEL YOU!" yelled Mimi.

"ACK! MIMI!" Roger collapsed.

April ran in. "Since it's not a fanfic, can I come in?"

"Make yourself at home," said Glinda.

"ROGER!" squealed April, falling at her boyfriend's side. "DON'T DIE! IT'S NOT WORTH IT! Trust me, I would know!"

"Where's my sister?" wondered Nessa.

Maureen woke up. "Hey mister," she said, grabbing Joanne's butt, "she's my sister."

"Get offa me, perv!" Joanne yelled.

Maureen started crying.

"MO'S CRYING!" shouted Mark. "THE WORLD HAS ENDED!"

"I was rejected…" sobbed Maureen.

"There, there," said Nessa, helping Maureen up, "I feel your pain. Boq was a total bitch once and asked me out to impress Galinda."

"Who's Galinda?"  
"I am," said Glinda.

"I thought you were Glinda."

"I changed my name."

"You changed your name to Galinda?"

"No…"

"I'm confused…"

"Where's my sister?" asked Nessa.

"Hey mister, she's my-" started Maureen, reaching for Joanne's butt.

"DON'T YOU DARE!" yelled Joanne.

"Take me for what I am…" sang the miscellaneous voice.

"MY SONG!" yelled Maureen and Joanne.

"What's happening here?" asked Elphaba, returning with Fiyero.

"Don't ask," said April, frantically performing CPR on Roger.

"I'm not dying, April, baby."

"You're alive!" April flung her arms around him.

"And now…" said the miscellaneous voice darkly, "you, Roger Joseph Davis, must choose: Mimi, April, or Mark?"

"Don't listen to the voice in your head, Roger," said Mimi. "You know that you want me."

"If it's in my head, how can you hear it, Meems?"

"Ooops…"

"It's a real voice, Roge, honey." April gently kissed him on the cheek. "You aren't schizophrenic."

"That's good to know," he said.

"So, who do you choose?"

"Do I have a chance?" asked Mark.

"No."

"Good."

Roger thought about his decision.

"You could always date me," Elphaba teased.

"No."

"Good. I'm with Yero."

"Phew," Fiyero said, relieved.

"I choose…"

"JUST CHOOSE!" yelled Saran VD (aka the miscellaneous voice).

The fictional characters all ran away.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry it took so long… I was never high enough to continue until now. Probably the last chappie.**

Not Again…

Roger sighed. "I choose…"

Aida randomly ran in. "Hi there!"

Everyone stared at her. Maureen, Roger, and Elphaba all looked as if they were dreading something.

Two seconds later, they figured it out. A man who looked exactly like a short-haired Roger and a woman who looked exactly like Mo and Elphie followed her in. "AIDA!" they called.

"Should I choose Aida, my identical twin's love?" Roger grumbled.

Aida, Radames, Mimi, and April all shook their heads.

Glinda giggled. "Amneris! You and Elphie and Maureen are all identical twins!"

"Actually, Glinda, it would be triplets," Elphaba corrected.

Glinda looked confused. She glanced at Mark.

"It's triplet, Gali," said Mark.

Madame Morrible started laughing hysterically. "GALI!" she squealed.

Everyone stared at her.

"Madame…" asked the Wizard, looking like he feared for her sanity, "are you feeling okay?"

"GALI!" yelled Morrible gleefully.

Everyone hid from Madame Morrible behind a tree, and by the magic that rules the world of FanFictions, Morrible couldn't see them.

"EVERYONE! WHERE ARE YOU?" she yelled when she recovered two hours later.

No one moved. Actually, Mimi kicked a rock, but Morrible didn't notice.

Madame Morrible was carted away to a oneshot Bob Jones was writing about her. The Wizard was, too.

"There you are, my love!" yelled Morrible, throwing her arms around him.

"Someone switched your brain with Glinda's," murmured the Wizard, pulling her off of him.

"Please let that fic they're going to be M-rated," prayed Fiyero as he watched them go.

"Why?" asked Boq.

"Because I want them to suffer."

"Oh, okay."

"I find the fact that the Wizard thinks Morrible is acting like me horrible," pouted Glinda. Mark kissed her.

"It's okay, Pookie," he said to her.

"YOU STOLE MY WORD!" yelled Maureen angrily.

Benny came back from his time with the original character (at long last….). "What did I miss?"

"Roger was just going to choose me over April," said Mimi.

"Was not!" April protested.

Mimi rolled her eyes.

"Oh, so in other words, nothing?"

"Except for the random _Aida_ people, no, nothing," said Joanne. "Hey, where'd they go?"

Aida, Radames, and Amneris had all vanished in a puff of turquoise smoke.

"Wow, that was weird," said Roger. "I choose April."

April disappeared in a puff of turquoise smoke.

"That was REALLY weird…" said Roger, beginning to be creeped out. "I pick Mimi."

Mimi disappeared in a puff of turquoise smoke.

"Now I'm scared. But I want Mark to go away, so I'll pick him."

Roger and Mark disappeared in a puff of turquoise smoke. They found themselves in the M-rated section.

"Oh dear God, I forgot how porno this place is," muttered Roger.

"I think they expect us to do the same thing," said Mark nervously.

"Hey! There's Collins and Angel! Where'd they come from?"

"Oh my fucking God, no!" said Mark, turning away.

"Time to go!" giggled Saran VD. She poofed all the characters from this fic (including the non-musical ones…) into the M-rated section using her magical turquoise smoke.

"So it was _you_!" gasped April. "_You_ took me away from Roger."

"Hey, I can't lie," said Saran VD, "I had to see what would happen. I like this result a lot better."

"Well, I can say one thing," said Nessa. "You fanfic authors are a bunch of perves."

"Thanks!" said Saran VD.

Everyone stared at her.

"Fanfics suck," said Collins. "Let's get drunk."

Everyone groaned, except for Saran VD, who was cackling like a maniac.

Elphaba stared at her. "If you're trying to act like me, you need to stop trying."

"No way! That's gay," said Saran VD.

"You're gay," retorted Elphaba.

"I find that statement offensive," said Maureen, Joanne, Collins, Angel (does she really count?), and Anthony Rapp, who had decided to show up.


End file.
